Institutionalized Racism

Another date goes bust this evening. He didn't stand near me, always walked 2-3 steps ahead of me, constantly over talked me, interrupted and we had a very strongly worded conversation about institutionalized racism. He kept denying that people get discriminated against or during one part of our conversation he said I could keep a job if I didn't 'broadcast" I was transgendered.

Heavy sigh.....

I kept sitting down in hopes that he would talk to me, make eye contact. He never did....always looked on guard and looking around as if he was scanning to see who was seeing him in public with me. When he dropped me off, he didn't even say anything nice, or a casual good bye. Just, "Okay I'm going to go hang out with my daughter now, bye.' I felt so shamed, and little as if I embarrassed him to be in public with him.

Came home, wrote about it on facebook. He through a hissy fit, and told me to fuck off. I guess that's one less Christmas card I have to send out.

Fag

This is my daily life folks. Walking to the mailbox, shopping for groceries, applying for a job, checking in on an apartment for rent, asking for directions, needing assistance from a police officers, questioning a teacher, being emailed on a dating site, or being called at home.

I'm a fag.

I've been called fag, faggot, and queer my whole life. No matter how much good I do for the world, how I try to help others in need, or how educated I become.

I'm a fag.

Trolls Every where!

So when I'm not being trolled on dating sites, I'm being trolled on posts for needing to know information. Yep....razors and a warm bath are the reasons to get out of bed somedays-

I'm an alien now too?

Fall is almost here.....

Nothing has really changed lately. I'm still dealing with dating site jerks, and looking for work. Depression/anxiety is awesome and doing well. Just didn't want to leave you hanging.

-SVJ

Nervous Laugh

Its always nice to be told that you aren't welcome. Even if on sites where I really am welcome and there is space for me in their preferences. Razors and a warm bath people......I'm not going to do it but damn its inviting sometimes.

Nervous laugh.

Razors and Walmart?

Yep....totally need to go to Walmart and just buy some razors..... Seriously, I think it is time to give up sometimes-

SVJ

ohhhh my...

I guess he was married....immediately there after I was blocked on fb and pof

Prince Charming ....do you exist?

Perhaps prince charming only exists in Disney movies, and bad Fox remakes? I got bombarded with three jerks in a row yesterday.....perhaps I should just buy a box of razors and take a warm bath like someone said on facebook yesterday?

then.....

Saaaayyyyyy whut?

My profile clearly lists on OkCupid that I'm a transgender female and yet all day I receive messages like this. I wish people understood its not my responsibility to be their personal Wikipedia, or satisfy their 'curious' needs. Stop using your privilege to make other people feel inferior-

Big sigh...

She-Mail

A few years ago RuPaul got in trouble with some millennials over the term She-Mail. Not Shemale, but the word She-Mail. A line was drawn in the trans community that what this really meant was that she was making fun of transgender people. Ironically she recreated a word, and coined it on a show that is famous for crossdressing for entertainment purposes: Drag.

I think above all else that the context in which this was used is how she should be judged on its usage. After all if you take someone to court over an issue you can't charge one way and mean another. In the realm of public opinion it gets a little messy because the court of public opinion has no rules or set boundaries.

The prevailing idea about the term She-Mail was that RuPaul was delivering some mail via the television to her contestants. She wasn't treating them inferior and calling them porn actors with the term she-male. Which in a different spelling and different context means something completely different.

That's why language is so fascinating to me. Words have meaning based upon the context in which they are used. Same with people going on a television show to "Roast" someone. You know what you signed up for. All jokes, good and bad are going to be on limits and nothing off limits. It is its own context.

#TeamRuPaul
#TeamContext
#TeamSanity

MrBell61

Seriously .....days like this make me just want to hang myself in the closet or in the woods. Id be too afraid though that a child or one of my parents would find me. Hell I don't want anyone to find me that way. Anyways, I'm just venting but god my soul is tired today-

SVJ

Nudes?

Everyday on Facebook, twitter, and dating sites this is what I see. At least a dozen of these "lovely" messages from twatcicles like this-

SVJ

Match

Definitely not a match this time but I'm getting tired of online bullies. If my prince is out there, now would be a good time to let me know you have a crush on me. I'm seriously getting to my wits end.

Depressed but not dead-