Sometimes when Im out gigging at events I look around the room and I can really tell occasionally with perfect clarity that I don't fit in anywhere. I feel absolutely alone in a crowd full of people most of the time and it pains me to know that at the end of the day most people don't really want anything to do with me.
And yet I keep putting myself out there and doing it over and over again. I went to a meeting earlier in the day and immediately discovered and the majority of the people wouldn't even make eye contact with me or carry on a conversation. The next stop was at home and I have a leak in my roof which didn't make me too happy.
Followed by going to a gig where I judged a show and found myself wondering what the hell makes me qualified to judge other people? Im no better than any one else. Granted I love doing it because I'd like to think I help them and Im not judging to be cruel. In fact one of the girls I ended up giving a few gowns to at the end of the night.
Im rambling. Seriously sometimes I just want to hang myself in the closet but then I realize that if I fail I'll have to explain why or how I broke the closet and I'd die of embarrassment-
SVJ
I admire folks who judge shows. I think that those who are asked to be judges are the ones who are willing to do it, and be fairly impartial in the process. It takes a special kind of person to do that.
ReplyDeleteThanks, it was a lot of fun and I hope I get asked back to Dragathon- SVJ
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