The last month has been really hard without Debra. It seems like I see her everywhere, and in everything I do. Its like her ghost is following me around. Im helping my brother with a campaign and almost three times I've tried to call her to remind her to vote or come to an event....and she's no longer here.
I went out to eat at the Original Pancake House the other day and I kept thinking....wow this was one of her favorite places. Then I have a gig coming up where I am hosting a show this Friday and twice I picked up the phone to 'make sure she knows' and I've since erased her number so Im not tempted to call....
It doesnt' help that lately I've forgotten to take my medicine a few times because I've been super busy. Its though though. Im trying to be everything to everybody else but myself. I'll say that again just so that I can read it later....Im trying to be everything to everybody else but myself.
It seems like I give 100% to everyone because I have this over whelming sense to feel loved and appreciated but because Im always trying to make everyone elses dreams come true mine are always taking a back seat. Im either helping a charity reach its goals, help a friend open a business or trying to get someone elected, making something wonderful for my husband and I often wonder.... whats in it for me? Is that selfish or wrong?
I feel gross even thinking that way because I was raised to think of everyone else other than myself but I can't shake it. When is it my turn to be happy?
Who knows-
SVJ
While helping others is important, you need to take care of yourself first. Your mental health and physical health. If you run yourself into the ground that wont help anybody. Also, my husband sets an alarm on his phone to remind him when to take medicine. Just a tip that might help :)
ReplyDeleteThats a great idea. I just need to figure out how to do that on my new phone but when I do I'll make sure it gets done! Great suggestion- SVJ
ReplyDelete