Everyday I sense a little more progress but there are moments where I just want to throw myself in front of a train, or hang myself off the porch. The only thing that stops me sometimes is my lil doggies, and that this is a neighborhood filled with lots of children. I would never want a child to see me hanging my a cord off the porch.
Lately I've been hanging out an awful lot with my mother and that has kept me very secure and safe. She doesn't know about how deep my pain runs but I try to protect her by not telling her. Today we had dual appointments at the same time. Then we had lunch and dinner together. It was a lovely day for the most part.
The husband is absolutely clueless most of the time and I think I prefer it that way. Otherwise he'd be taking my emotional temperature every few hours which is annoying itself. I don't need someone asking how I am doing every few hours-
Tomorrow I teach a class about gender diversity and Im super excited about it. When I am living my purpose in life I feel free, and that everything aligns. Im going to go to bed early to take care of myself.
Im not giving up today-
SVJ
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