The Beast

Today was a magical day. I woke up early and headed to Chemeketa Community College where I gave my presentation on Gender Diversity and then I hung out with my mom and dad all evening. We had tacos, watched movies, played video games and believe it or not I got a lot of homework done too.

At one point Alex came over and had dinner with us, then proceed to play video games with us. It was the first time in a long time that I really felt like I belonged to a family. A unit that helps one another, shares in each others experiences and lifts each other up. Its like my depression, anxiety, ptsd, and restlessness took a nap today or rested in a slumber.

For the first time in weeks I didn't live inside my head but rather lived in the moment and I was present. Of course my problems were still there, like being homeless, not being funded for summer term, and my car going tits up but there were a few hours there that the beast, just went to sleep and allowed me to have a good time.

In fact up until this blog I didn't think about committing suicide at all. I hope I have more positive days coming up because I could sure use them with the move, finals at school and trying to stay afloat during the summer.

Here's to hoping-
SVJ